cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
