I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
