just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I intend to get homeless drunk
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
