I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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