your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
