No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
where are my eyebrows?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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