PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I love having hate sex.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
