i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
