is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
