i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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