check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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