his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
