Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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