I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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