Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
