We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
