Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
