the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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