I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
