So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
