I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Pooping to opera.
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