he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
pray to the hookup gods
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
