I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
