yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
