So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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