Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
