New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
