His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
