I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
