Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i think i just lost a toe
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
