I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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