I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
