You're a womanizer and a bitch.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
