Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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