No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize