Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
