I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i may or may not be watching the land before time
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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