i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
