wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
