she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My breasts were aching with rage.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
