absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
