i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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