and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
