considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
