we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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