Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
