I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
