How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
