don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
