well I can't set my house on fire every night
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
