I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
