That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
