I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
