Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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