You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
