I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
