try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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