By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
