His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
