So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
