i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
