im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize