i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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