I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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