win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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