Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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