hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
