So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
