I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's never too late to be topless.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
