It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
