my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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