Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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