my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
high people should be assigned attendants
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
