Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize