We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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