you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
