There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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