there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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