jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
